She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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