My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize