Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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