those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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