I need help removing her.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
