I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
