rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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