Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize