I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
