I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
love makes seman taste better
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
