I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
