JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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