Three words: puerto rican gang bang
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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