I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
