I just saw a hot homeless man
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
