HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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