Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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