Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
