I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
