i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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