Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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