She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
