i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
time to smoke my breakfast
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
