Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize