Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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