That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
