covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
