So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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