And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
