Already got asked if we're dating
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
