how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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