I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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