You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
