I can't watch pbs sober anymore
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
