I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
