You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
