just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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