Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
