Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
