yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
