areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
