I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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