your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
