Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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