His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
