apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He keeps bees of course he's weird
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
