My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
