I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
