you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
