I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
did i walk over a car last night?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
