I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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