Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
