I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
