i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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