I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
