be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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