THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
