Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I need to align my fucking chakras
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