Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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