Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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