Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
