i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
