we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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