I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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