I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
